Minus The Smell Of Alcohol
by xSarahxMariexCullen
Summary: ONESHOT Max Iggy and Fang have a little fun! Throw in some dancing, a very drunk Max, and some limes, and you have got a crazy night. Faxness! T for adult content
1. Drunk

Hey okay this is a one shot.

Helped me clear up some writers block.

ENJOY!

MAX POV

"Bye guys! Have fun and be careful!" I yelled waving from the front door. We, as in the flock and I, decided to settle down at my mom's house. She moved to Colorado because her house wouldn't fit all of us bird kids plus Ella and, ew ew ew, Jeb. Mom and him are a "thing" now. Its totally gross if you ask me even if he is my dad. Anyway so we have been living with her for about a week now and its December so my mom decided to take the kids skiing for the weekend. Iggy said that he would stay home and hold down the fort because it would be hard for him ski, being blind and what not. I felt guilty so I volunteered to stay behind with him and of course had to stay behind too. So Fang, Iggy and I are home alone for the entire weekend. Great.

I watched the car pull away. I shivered in the cold PJ short shorts are not the best thing for Colorado. I turned to go back inside I plopped down on the floor in front of the fireplace. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I turned around to see Fang sitting on the couch right behind me. "GHAA!" I screamed and jumped a foot in the air. "WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" I yelled.

"Stop what? Breathing?" he said with a smirk the size of Alaska. I let out a frustrated sigh and sat back down. Then Iggy came out of the kitchen holding two bottles with the most unholy grin I've ever seen. "Guys!" he squealed then I took a closer look at the bottles in his hands. They both where pretty big one had clear liquid on it and said "Smirnoff Ice" on it and the other had brownish liquid on it and said "Crown Royal" on it.

"No." Fang said. He turned to me and saw the confusion on in my facial expression. "He's holding two bottles of al- mffmmfmmf" Iggy was holding the bottles in one hand and had the other over Fang's mouth.

"Can I talk to you for a minuet Fang?" Iggy said grabbing his arm and pulling him into the kitchen.

FANG POV

"Fang come on! It will be so funny! Haven't you ever wanted to see Max drunk?!" Iggy said squealed like a little girl.

"No." I said again.

"Fang, come on have a little fun. You don't have to drink anything just let me and Max have some fun!" He begged.

"She will never do it." I said smirking.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." And with that he was out of the room.

"Hey Max do you want something to drink?" I heard him ask.

"Sure Ig thanks!" Max said sounding so innocent. Iggy came back into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses he poured about an inch of Crown Royal in each then filled it up to the top with Coke. Then just like that he was back in the living room. Max took a sip of the spiked Coke and coughed.

"Ugh Iggy! What is this!" she said coughing again.

"Um…Diet?" he said.

"Blah okay." She said taking another sip. I rolled my eyes and sat back down. She chugged the rest down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Hey Ig can you get me some more Coke please." She said with a smile that would make the president jump of a building if she asked him. Iggy giggled and got up to refill Max's cup. I glared at him the entire time.

After Max's third Coke I could tell that she was definitely buzzed. Iggy was working on his fourth and wasn't nearly as bad as Max.

"Iggy-twiggy! I want to play a game!" she yelled jumping to her feet. A devilish grin lit up Iggy's face.

"Okay Max. We are going to play a card game called Kings." Iggy said. Oh no! Iggy grabbed a deck of cards and spread them across the coffee table. "Alright this is how you play, every card has a game to it and whoever loses the game has to drink. Got it?" He asked Max. She nodded her head like a little kid then she crawled up on the couch and plopped down next to me.  
"Fang aren't you going to play?" she asked her bottom lip pushing out in a pout.

"No." I said her bottom lip shoved out more and she crossed her arms over her chest. "You are SUCHHHH a party pooper!" she screeched and fell back on the couch dramatically and put her bare legs over my lap. "EVERY PARTY HAS A POOPER THAT'S WHY WE INVITED YOU!" She sang. Iggy was cracking up and joined in singing.

"FINE!" I yelled and got up to go get a drink. I was going to kill Iggy. I sat down next to Max and she kissed my cheek. "Thanks for playing with us!" she said clapping her hands together. After we played Kings, Max loosing most of the time, Max was totally drunk. I only had half a drink so I was still sober and Iggy was buzzed. Max sprang to her feet and ran into her room tripping a few times. She came back with her iPod and speakers in her hands. "DANCING TIME!" she yelled and set up the music. Let it Rock by Lil Wayne started to play and she grabbed Iggy by the wrist and pulled him on top of the coffee table. She turned her back to him and they started grinding to the beat. I clenched my teeth as a watched Max to several inappropriate dance moves all of which had her backside in contact with Iggy. He put his hands on her little hips and swayed to the beat then he took her hand and twirled her around so that she was facing him. She jumped off the table and grabbed my hand. Iggy left to go to the kitchen.  
"No Max." I said like I was a parent scolding a little kid. She let go of my arm and sat down on my lap and then moved around to the beat, giving me a lap dance. I had no idea Max was capable of doing things like this. But hell could she dance. Then the song came to an end and she pouted. Iggy came back with salt, a cut up lime, a bottle of some alcohol I didn't recognize, and three shot classes. "BODY SHOTS!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. The next song came on Right Round by Flo Rida. Max giggled.

"Was that!" she slurred. Iggy grabbed her and whispered something in her ear. My jaw clenched. He wouldn't. She laid down on her back with her hands above her head on the table and giggled again. Iggy poured a shot and set it by Max's head then he took a lime and told her to hold it in her mouth. He so wouldn't! The he crawled up on the table next to her. He put a hand on each side of her head and rested his knees on either side of her hips so that he was kneeling over her. My hands clenched into lethal fists. He better not! Then he pulled Max's shirt up right to where the bottom of her bra would be. Oh my god, he's going to do it. He bent down and placed his tongue at the bottom Max's stomach. She erupted into a fit of giggles. He licked all the way up to her shirt leaving behind a wet trail then he grabbed the salt sprinkled it on the spit. "Ready!?" he asked her She giggled again and shook her head yes. I was seeing red by this point. He licked the salt off her stomach in one swift movement. Then his head sapped up and grabbed the shot by Max's head he chugged it and dove back down to claim his lime. I got to my feet ready to pounce but his moth was already at Max's and he sapped up on to his knees with the lime in his mouth. Max clapped and was laughing uncontrollably. Iggy spit out the lime peel and licked his lips. That pervert. They got up.  
"My turn! Max yelled and turned her head to me." Oh god.

"Come on Fangy. Shirt off!" The song changed again to When I Grow Up by the Pussy Cat Dolls.

"No Way" I said in a final tone. "CHICKEN!" Iggy yelled. He did not! Ug! I laid down on the coffee table. Iggy wolf whistled and Max clapped.

"Okay Max. You know what to do?" Iggy asked and poured her a shot. "Yes Capitan Iggy!" She yelled and saluted him. Then she turned to me she stepped up onto the table and had one foot on each side of my hips. "Ready Fang!" she purred and dropped down to her knees straddling my hips. Then she sat down on my thighs. Oh my god. She reached down to the bottom of my shirt and pulled it all the way over my head she giggle. "One." She said placing her pointer finger on one of my top abs. "Two, Three, For, Five, Six, Seven, Eight!" she finished on the ab closest to my jeans. "Wowie Fang since when do you have a sexy stomach" She said truly shocked. What can I say, being on the run and kicking eraser butt really whips you in shape. She snapped the waistband of my boxers and giggled. Then sat back up and put a hand on either side of my chest. I gulped. Iggy hollered chanting "Max Max Max Max" pounding his fist in the air. She bent down and placed her warm tongue on the bottom of my stomach right where my boxers started. I saw a bright light go off but I ignored it. Then she started to work her way up moving painfully slow. She worked all the way to the bottom of my neck. She rose back to her knees and grabbed the salt from the table she sprinkled it on my stomach and giggled again she put a lime in my mouth. "Hold it there nice and good for me okay Fang." She giggled and winked. I swallowed again. Then she dove back to lick up the salt. She licked it all up and sapped up for the shot. She threw her head back and Iggy wailed. She dove back for the lime. She I felt the tangy juice fill my mouth when her perfect teeth bit into the lime. She shot up with the lime in her moth and sucked it dry. She hopped to her feet and jumped up on to the couch squealing, leaving me stunned on the coffee table. Iggy came over and patted my shoulder and joined Max on the couch. After about five more minuets of jumping around Max and Iggy sat down on the couch and passed out. I rolled my eyes and went over to them. I picked max up bridal style and carried her to her room. I laid her down on her bed and tucked her in. I pushed the hair out of her face and a beautiful little smile grazed her perfect lips. She grabbed my hand. I tried to get up but then the smile vanished. "Don Go." She slurred in her sleep. I smiled and lay down beside her. I wrapped my arms around her little waist she turned to her side and slung her arm over my naked chest. Then she rested her head on my shoulder.

I could get used to this, minus the smell of alcohol. I thought with a smile.


	2. Hangover

FPOV

I felt Max shoot up beside me, waking me up. I rubbed my eyes and looked at her. She jumped out of bed and ran to her bathroom. I realized it was still dark I looked at the clock 3:45 blinked in red. Then I heard Max she was sick. I got up and ran to the bathroom to check on her she was hunched over the toilet her hair getting in her face while she threw up. I went behind her and held her hair back and rubbed soothing circles on her back. After about ten minuets of her dry heaving she looked up and moaned. She flushed the toilet and rinsed out her mouth.

"What happed?" she asked sitting down on the floor and resting her cheek on the side of the bathtub.

"You have a hang over." I stated matter of factly.

"A WHAT?!" she yelled.

"Iggy got you drunk. I had no part in it." I said putting my hands up in defense. She was about to yell but she was interrupted by another round of throwing up. I held her hair again and when she was done I went to go get her Advil for her headache. When I came back up stairs she was laying on her stomach on the floor with her face in her arms.

"Here take this for your head." I said she grabbed it and glared at me.

"I'm going to kill Iggy." She said. I sat down next to her and put her head in my lap. She was about to protest but I held her down and rubbed her temples. She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Better?" I asked trying to fight an own coming smirk.

"Mmm" she said. A few minuets later when I thought she was asleep again she broke the silence.

"Um Fang why did I wake up in the same bed as you? I mean we didn't, you know. Right?" She asked her eyebrows kitting together.

"Oh god! No! Max I would never do that. Well not that I wouldn't want to but I mean…what I mean is that you where drunk…and well I mean not that I wouldn't if you wanted to…but you should wait until your married or…." I said trying to get the words out. She smiled and sat up.

"Thanks." She said and kissed my cheek. Her face flushed and she ran out of the bathroom to her room. Once I was out of shock that she kissed me when she was sober I turned off the bathroom light and fallowed her. She was curled up on her bed over the covers she looked up at me and patted the spot next to her. I sat down and rested my back against the headboard. Max got under the covers and rested her head on my chest I put my arm around her shoulders and smiled to my self. About twenty minuets later her breathing slowed and she looked relaxed, well as relaxed as Max gets. I kissed her forehead and fell asleep my self.


End file.
